


Wait For It

by indefensibleselfindulgence



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Spoilers, attempts at humor, yall know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-09 19:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15274998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefensibleselfindulgence/pseuds/indefensibleselfindulgence
Summary: Afterwards, there's a body that needs attention.





	Wait For It

**Author's Note:**

> Ow.
> 
> not beta'd

Somewhere far away, he watches the people he's come to call his friends mourn.  
  
It's cold here, but Molly's never minded it. Ice was in his blood and recently snow has been a more pleasant distraction. He moves slowly, like he's underwater and- no that doesn't feel quite right. Like every step he takes there's wind to meet him- no. Not quite it either.  
  
He thinks to the battle that feels like it happened eons ago or seconds ago and he thinks of Caleb's spell.  
  
He certainly feels very slow right now. Molasses, swiped on his hand and shrouding their enemy in a curtain of uselessness. Yeah. That's it.  
  
Molasses.  
  
He feels spectacularly useless right now, here, standing next to the wizard and monk and the thief and laying on the dirt road inches from cart tracks. Not anywhere useful. Somewhere, the dwarf he just met is staring after the caravan that killed him but she's so unimportant right now.  
  
They don't cry, thank the gods for that.  
  
Molly imagines that they're all very ugly criers, and that's not really want he wants right now.  
  
The silence isn't what he wants either but it's better than the crying, he thinks.  
  
They don't talk, not right away at least.  
  
Beau and Nott inhale a health potion each and Caleb seems to be frozen solid. Molly doesn't know how to tell him that there are better things to shut down over.  
  
They barely knew each other, anyway.  
  
Night comes sooner then anyone expects and Molly is sure that they're down the road but when he focuses they've not moved. Maybe he can't move- maybe time is frozen- maybe it's not real and it's all a bad dream.  
  
“What the fuck are we going to tell Yasha?” Beau talks first.

It feels right.  
  
“What can we tell her?” Caleb swallows nothing, finally shrugging off whatever stilled him before.  
  
Molly didn't even think about Yasha. She hadn't even crossed his mind and with the new found guilt he closes his eyes and sits on the not ground, and watches them. He certainly wouldn't want to be in their position.  
  
She was going to be so mad.  
  
Fuck.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
“We can't leave him here- can we?” Nott looks down and straight at him and Molly thinks what Caleb says.  
  
“We bury him.”  
  
“What- in a fucking pauper's grave? What the fuck man-” Who knew Beau would care so much.  
  
“Think.” Caleb clears his throat. “We have no cart. The closest town is in the direction we're headed which is also the direction _They_ are headed. And even if we go back to Huperdook, that's five days ride if we don't run our horses ragged.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“And even still, which of us is going to ride with his body.”  
  
Beau makes a very Beau noise that makes Molly smile and walks away from Caleb to lean down on the ground, forehead in the dirt.  
  
“Caleb we can't just-”  
  
“We don't have a choice.” He grits out and Molly hears him choke up. “He wouldn't want us to do that.”  
  
“Ca-” Nott looks between Caleb and Molly and back to Caleb again. “Caleb's right, Beau.” Just like always. It's so easy to smile when nothing feels like it's changed, really. “We have to- To do something.”  
  
“We're burying him.” Beau says, standing up to her full height.  
  
“Ja.”  
  
“I'm not leaving until we bury him.”  
  
“Ja. I'm not arguing. We treat him right.” Beau gives Caleb a good long look and nods.  
  
“We treat him right.”  
  
It's exceptionally weird watching Caleb's soft fingers shut his eyelids for him, but here he is.  
  
“Do we- Do we take his stuff?” Nott asks from behind them, nervous.  
  
“He would have wanted us to.” Beau says.  
  
“Right. Just- seems weird. He's not even that cold yet.”  
  
“He will be.” Caleb brushes Molly's hair down, careful with the horns, and wipes the drying blood from his bottom lip. “Can you start digging, Beauregard?”  
  
“Yeah- Yeah.” They don't have shovels and after a while Nott helps. Caleb brushes all of him, gets him as clean as he can, his clothes as free of wrinkles as possible before reaching into his pockets.  
  
“I'm sorry, Mollymauk.” It's whispered and if Molly wasn't Right There, he's sure he wouldn't have heard it.  
  
His cards are the last things taken from him and Caleb stares at the deck.  
  
“Do you want them?” Beau looks up from the first, haggard, hair a mess.  
  
Cheeks wet.  
  
“I don't really know how to use them.” She says.  
  
“I know even less than you.”  
  
She wipes her hands down on the front of her pants and reaches out to take them. Their hands brush and Beau shudders, almost imperceptibly.  
  
“He taught me how to play a game with them.” She holds on to them so tightly Molly worries she'll somehow snap paper in half.  
  
“You'll teach me, then. Me and Nott. Besides. Jester will be upset if we don't have them when we get them back.”  
  
She slumps against him, and Caleb and Nott don't say anything when she starts sobbing. He holds her and Nott comes over to join.  
  
Who would have thought this gang of assholes would miss him of all people.  
  
“I forgot about Jester.” She mumbles, ashamed of herself. They're all exhausted, and it's starting to show. Molly can't blame them.  
  
He's pretty tired himself.  
  
“We'll get them back.” Nott insists, more forceful then he's ever heard her.  
  
“Yeah, we fucking will.” Beau takes a step back and rubs her face dry on her sleeve. “I'll fucking bury the bastard.”  
  
“Not if I get to him first.” Nott says, pulling her flask out and holding it out to Beau.  
  
“If we are calling dibs I would like to put my name into the list.”  
  
Beau drinks, a lot and hands it Caleb who drinks just as much before giving it back to Nott.  
  
“Pour one out for him.” Beau says. “He would have wanted a feast in his honor, and all we have is a fucking flask.”  
  
“Hey! It's a nice flask.” Nott takes her drink and flips the flask over.  
  
The smell of bourbon fills the air and Molly can't complain.    
  
They let it pour until it seeps into Molly's coat and Nott caps it.  
  
“You know, there's always a chance he'll just wake up again.” Caleb and Beau look down at her and then back at him. “He said he woke up in the dirt after he was dead the last time, right?”  
  
“That's true.” Caleb nods slowly.  
  
“We should say something right? Before we- before we put him in the ground.”  
  
“Yeah.” Nott takes another long drink. “You go.”  
  
“Why should I-” Beau shakes her head and swallows. “Molly you were a dick and an asshole and I couldn't stand you most of the time-” The other two cough and Molly smiles and laughs. “But fuck it if I won't miss you. You weren't the worst. All the time. Some of the time but not- You get the idea. You'd cut me off already.”  
  
He would.  
  
“I wish you would have. I'll miss you.” She says and turns around. She's starting to cry again. She hits Nott upside the head, and Nott takes a step forward.  
  
“You were-” She struggles to find the right words. “I didn't really trust you, but you were there when we needed you, and that was enough. We'll miss you. I- I'll miss you.”  
  
And then it's just him and Caleb left.  
  
“Mr. Mollymauk.” Hearing his full name makes it sound all the more final somehow. “We'll be down the road. You'll find us, ja? And then we can kill that piece of shit together.” If he were still alive, he'd be crying. Something just feels right about it. There's tension behind his eyes. “You should hurry. When Yasha find out we're all-”  
  
He chokes up too, and Molly shakes his head. He wants to say that it's okay. He doesn't mind; he really doesn't. He's lived great. He didn't regret it. Any of it. He'd do it all again if he could.  
  
“Like you said.” Caleb picks up after a minute. “Eyes never shut.”  
  
Beau picks him up by the underarms and hauls him into the small grave. It's cozy. Warm.  
  
“Ready?” Nott asks.  
  
The humans look at each other and then at Molly and nod.  
  
“No time like the present, right?” Caleb says and starts packing earth against Molly's boots.  
  
“Yeah.” She covers his chest with dirt. “Molly listen, if you- when you come back and like- kick that dick's ass and everything. Don't tell Yasha I cried. Do me a solid, like once, okay?”  
  
He nods and laughs and laughs and laughs.  
  
His body is covered in dirt and Nott pours more bourbon over him. It feels warm too.  
  
“If he doesn't come back, we go back to Huperdook and we get wasted right?” Nott asks. “For him?”  
  
“Absolutely.” Caleb nods slowly. “We'll drink everyone under all of the tables for him.”  
  
“It's how he would want to go.” Beau nods.  
  
They stand there for another five minutes before Nott nudges Beau who nudges Caleb. They turn and walk to the dwarf and he's left standing on the side of the road.  
  
The world is still and quiet.

It still feels slow, but there's a pressure behind Molly's eyes and the smell of bourbon in the air.

Eyes never shut.

Nothing left to do but wait.

**Author's Note:**

> comments always encouraged and appreciated
> 
> come [yell at me](http://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> i kind of hate writing angst? originally it was just going to be fluff but this came out so much easier and I like it more so
> 
> Also here's a nice uplifting poem for you[warning it autoplays some music](https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/do-not-stand-at-my-grave-and-weep/)


End file.
